Spiralling In: Healing the Small Self’s Resistance

Dear friends, a number of you have asked what’s been happening for me during the last five weeks. Some of you will know I’ve had pneumonia along with fractured ribs during this period, and I feel to share the inner journey of this dis-ease, as it may resonate for the healing paths some of you are also taking.

Five weeks ago, an ‘atypical pneumonia’ had spread through members of my family, including my son. I hadn’t had a virus for years, but actually felt the moment it ‘jumped into my system’; I became worried about my son, who went to hospital with severe breathing difficulties, and my vibration dropped, opening a doorway to negative energies. Three days later, with my inner balance – and therefore outer balance – shaky, I slipped and fractured several ribs. The combination of heavy coughing bouts and cracked ribs that followed for the next few weeks was further complicated by the bug setting off a larynx spasm when coughing, that shut the windpipe, making my body go into stressful methods to get breathing again. At the same time, the muscles around the damaged ribs would spasm, and go into cramps for hours, trying to compress and protect the ribs. This combination made it impossible to breathe, until I started to black out, then an adrenalin surge would block the pain and kickstart the breathing reflex.

While this was going on day and night on the physical level, I knew it was imperative to hold a high frequency focus, stay in love and peace, very deeply, and acknowledge, clear and heal the part of my small self caught in imbalance. I’ve been blessed with an enormous amount of help and support through this process, and here especially want to thank my Higher Self and higher soul aspects, my beloved Twin Flame, star family and guides, friends and family who have given guidance, comfort, support and healing both energetically and ‘on the ground’ (thanks to my beautiful Mum, I’ve been able to stay at home through most of this time).

I knew very well the soul aspects, of a life in ancient Egypt, and late Atlantis before that, whose energies were vibrating in this Now, resistant to joining the inward spiralling Whole self, within the embrace of Higher Self and Source. I had done much healing and releasing with these aspects before, yet at a deeper core level they were fearing the overall ‘keying up’ of frequencies (ascension). Just before this dis-ease state came in, I asked Source to bring to light and clear any last parts of myself that were resisting full ascension; in other words, I could feel something still blocking in the subconscious level, and Source answered, immediately! In those two incarnations, I had dropped from a 5D vibration to a 3D vibration. I remember it clearly in both cases; in Atlantis, it was a slow decline; in Egypt in a short space of time, from being completely and blissfully bathed in 5D and higher frequencies, then getting caught in lower emotions and dropping out of it very rapidly, into chaos and destruction. And those soul aspects, through the small self part of my Now self connected to them, said: ‘You couldn’t hold that state then. What makes you think you can do it now?’ From within that viewpoint, dying out of physical seems ‘better’ than risking the pain of falling out of a higher vibrational state (again).

Through the healing and unblocking now taking place with these wounded soul aspects, immersed now in Love, the deeper openings are truly wondrous, taking me into a far more free, whole intimacy with my Higher Self, back into Source itself through the trail of incarnations through Universes, feeling the sweetness of the merging of all, reflected in, and twined with, the beautiful energies of reunion with my Twin Flame, and bringing that into the heart grid of Gaia as an uplifting, imprinting stream of light, memory and unity.

Even so, the contrast of small self’s resistance has still been there, reflected perfectly in physical, where new fractures have appeared in the lower ribs these last few days, from wear and tear of muscle spasms. So this morning I asked my Higher Self, what is this last denying part, that is still ‘breaking away’? Higher Self and Twin Flame showed me the form of a great spiral funnelling INward, where the outer rings of the spiral represent 3D, and the rings going INward represent higher and higher frequencies. In my subconscious, a part of the 3D small self clings to the outer rings for dear life (but it’s perception is inside-out), in fear that it will be destroyed if it lets go and allows itself to be drawn into the centre. In the body, the spiral is symbolized by the outer rings as the ribs, outer protecting layer around the lungs, wherein the breath of life flows through to heart centre.

As the small self clings, not trusting the inward path, it has broken the outer spiral (ribcage), because it sees destruction instead of transformation…in its distorted viewing, it fears it will be lost, when in truth it will be integrated as a precious part of the Whole I AM, in a higher state of being. And here’s the thing: no part of our being that is not in full unconditional Love can ascend, simply because it is not resonating in that frequency, which is only Love….and that prevents the Whole from Ascending, until it allows and receives its truth, which is love.

I see this small part of ego self now cradled in the arms of my Higher Self, held in a sphere of pink and gold light, relaxing….relaxing and trusting deeply, as it has not for eons. In witnessing this, I Know all healing is possible, and is happening right Now, flowing with our/my goal of integrating and merging all aspects together again as One Light of Love. 🙂

unnamed x

The key in all healing journeys is to be at peace, unconditionally, with what is, so that the space is created for what can be, to take hold and bloom. That space is the restoration of love, all the way IN to Source, and it is golden. As Sananda says: ‘Make your body (and being) a reservoir of the golden flame’.

One word: Yayyyy!!!!

Finally, I’d like to share with you some exquisite symbolism that appeared in the sky in the middle of this process. In it, I see a ‘stairway to heaven’: the beautiful steps the small self builds to Ascend, and the sublime movement of Higher Self/Sun as it descends, to meet and merge ‘in the middle’….

P1010116

Photo taken on April 16th, 2014, Darlington, Western Australia, cradling hand and profile face, energies of Sesherat and Isis.

 

Much love to all of you, and to all who have sent love, light and healing, thank you thank you thank you, from my heart to yours! May you be blessed tenfold.

 

PS: One addition to the photo above: two people have noted a figure in it….that what I see as steps are also the fingers of a hand, and if you look closely, you can see the whole hand delicately outlined, and a face in profile above, to the left of the Sun. One friend saw this as a being cradling me close, with their hand tenderly around, and I see a child’s face above the hand and close to the chin of the being’s face. This represents both the Higher Self cradling the soul aspect I spoke of above, and also beautiful Great Mother energies from Sirius. There is a composite of energies in this form, but I feel both Sesherat/Seshat and Isis strongly….who knew Egypt and Atlantis well…..and my Twin Flame….thank you blessed ones.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6 thoughts on “Spiralling In: Healing the Small Self’s Resistance

  1. Aho darling One
    Thank you for sharing your magical,if painful, journey. I’m sending you love & crystal vibration to help, that little ity bit that’s left clinging, break free,
    May the wholeness & perfection you seek be yours,⭐🌺⭐

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    • Dearest Tamayra, thank you so much for your help….yes, it’s just the clearing of this last ‘bit’ now, thank Source….feeling your love and crystalline. Love and hugs to you, blessings always ❤ xoxoxoxox

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  2. Your experience is humbling, Joanna. My goodness what a struggle…yet now you have nearly ‘conquered the beast’ so to speak. It certainly clarifies exactly how powerful the releasing process truly is. Appreciate your willingness to share this experience, which definitely helps me on my path, Blessings. Namaste.

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    • Angel, I wrote to someone earlier that if feels like that stage when a butterfly has crawled out of its cocoon, wet and crumpled, its body rather crushed feeling, into a small time of stillness and resting while the blood fills its new wings to glory….and then it is free to fly! 🙂
      Much love to you, and if this sharing has helped you, I am so glad. Namaste. ❤

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  3. Heartfelt gratitude for sharing your BE YOU t FULL story of transformation. May your continued journey be filled to overflowing with the pure essence of LOVE and may we all help each other through these unprecedented times of ascension. Sending Bright SMILES :):):); Warm (soft) HUGS ((())); and much BIG LOVE ❤ ❤ ❤

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    • Dear Cindy/LayNa, thank you so much! Yes, it’s wonderful that we’re here, helping each other in our journeys into higher Love, and growing with each other as we do so. 🙂
      Much love, thanks and hugs back to you! ❤ ❤ ❤

      Like

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